Karen M. Winkelman

The LifeCrafting Guide

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~ Karen M. Winkelman

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by Karen M. Winkelman Tuesday, June 2, 2015

May was a weird mix of joy and sadness, connection and withdrawal, wonderful new opportunities and letting go.

We (me, my husband Steve and the rest of our feline family) said goodbye to a dear beloved friend and teacher this month… Seuss.

I write this post in gratitude to honor Seuss and his memory and the lessons he has shown me… and I also write it for you.

Perhaps something in this journey of transition will help you deal with a loved one (human or animal) who is preparing to leave the physical world.

Seuss has been featured in my blog a couple of times as his journey triggered me and helped me come to new awareness and taught me wonderful lessons around fixing, rescuing, acceptance and surrender.

Seuss was a black and white tuxedo cat with an amazing personality. He was161/2 years old and had been ill for a few years with a thyroid tumor and allergies. His occasional rallying would give us hope that he’d be with us a while longer.

This year he started to withdraw from activities he enjoyed and slipped into decline. By the beginning of May he’d lost more weight and food didn’t really interest him. Some days he wanted no part of food, other days he’d eat a little, and when he took his allergy meds he’d have more of an appetite. But Seuss was stubborn and fought taking his meds (for thyroid, inflammation and allergies).Seuss in a box

The Friday or Saturday before Mother’s Day he said no more. He had had enough. No more meds. No intervention. He was done. He was leaving. And he wanted to transition on his own. No vet (he absolutely hated going to the vet).

Steve and I honored Seuss’ wishes and it was about the hardest damn thing I ever had to do.

I’ve had animal companions all my life, and have had to deal with the inevitability of their passing. And more often than not I had to make the call to either bring the vet to us or bring them to the vet to help them cross over. I don’t care how many times you do this, it is never easy. And you may often question if you’re reading the situation right. Yeah. That whole doubt and guilt game our mind is so proficient at!

Anyway, Seuss made it clear he was doing it his way (just like everything else in his life). And so we held space for him and were present with him as he prepared to transition.

It was way harder than I ever imagined and it took a heavy emotional toll on Steve, me and the other cats in the family.Suess & puff ball

Still we honored his wishes.

Checking in a couple of times a day to be sure he didn’t want to have some help leaving his body and passing on.

We thought it would take a couple of days at most because Seuss was spending more and more time out of his body. But it took 5 days; 5 excruciating days of being with him, sending him love, being present, and allowing him to do it his way.

All the while dealing with the inner critic telling you this is cruel or somehow wrong, casting doubt, raising questions, and stirring the guilt pot.I’d call friends who were able to communicate with animals just to double-check myself and Seuss’ wishes.

We continued to hold space for his easy, comfortable transition as we watched his physical body waste away, and feel our emotions at the same time. Human or animal is no different. Watching anyone go through the physical decline and wasting process is difficult. It is also difficult to watch someone in emotional and mental decline. I’ve done that with my dad many years ago.

Seuss wanted to be with us, close to us physically, but didn’t want to be petted much and refused Reiki or other energy work other than surrounding him in love. Ahh, Seuss, thank you for being a mirror of struggle, resistance and making things harder than they need to be and wanting things to be different than they are. I love you.

Penelope - catIn the end, Seuss let me call in his sister Penelope and Archangel Ariel and Archangel Michael to help him transition. And he went quickly and Peneolpe showed him the way home.

Wednesday afternoon, May 13th, Steve and I and some of the other cats were there with Seuss in our family room when Penelope came in and helped him finally leave his tired body for good. Many tears were shed. Sometimes more like hysterical sobs.

We put him in a nice box with some of his favorite things and had a little ceremony for him.

And then we went about in a daze for a couple of days.

In addition to the sadness and grief – surprise bolt of guilt hit hard. Did he suffer? Did we do the right thing? Funny how our ego has to add fuel to the fire.

We’ve been honoring our healing process. So while I have been showing up for commitments and clients, I haven’t taken on a lot of new things. I guess I needed more time than I realized to sit and be with the sadness of losing a beloved. Steve&Suess

And the compassion of being there for my husband as he deals with his own grief and pain, as Seuss was a special buddy to him.

The rest of the cats are all clingy and needy right now as they deal with losing a companion.  Especially Dexter, who feels everything so acutely and grew up with Seuss as his big brother.

Knowing what I know makes some points of the death process easy. I can see them transition. I know their spirit lives on. I know they are well and free. Yet my emotional side still gets her ass kicked.

It’s ok. It’s life. And right now I am allowing myself to take whatever time I need rather than go to that “suck it up and soldier on” mode that I am quite adept at.

So some things may be falling through the cracks, some things may be temporarily on hold or delayed a bit, and some things may be taking more time than usual. Some days I can focus on business and be productive, other days I need space and quiet time or play time with my feline family and my husband. And that is just the way it is for now.Love yourself through it; picture of the sand & sky

If you are dealing with grief over any loss in your life, gift yourself the time you need. Do it your way! Be gentle and compassionate with yourself. And LOVE yourself through it.

Love & Blessings,

Karen

Till we meet again, Seuss.. beautiful journeys to you!

 

 

PS. You can share your thoughts in the comments area below

PPS. If this resonated with you, I invite you to share it if it feels appropriate. Thank you.

I invite you to connect with me on my Facebook page

Posted by Karen M. Winkelman on Tuesday, June 2, 2015 8:14 PM
Categories: Healing, Love, Self-Awareness
Tags: (No Tags)
2 Comments
On Tuesday, June 30, 2015 at 6:15 AM
Cheryl Stonick said...
"Dear Karen,Checked your website for the first time in quite a long while(waaaaay too long)and saw your post about Seuss...dear lady your pain was palpable...I understand only too well. I send you gentle thoughts of comfort. Cheryl Stonick"
On Wednesday, July 8, 2015 at 7:48 PM
Karen said...
"Dear Cheryl, thank you so much for your good thoughts and comfort regarding Seuss. It means a lot to me. So nice to hear from you again. Wishing you all the best. Blessings & love, Karen"

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