My Philosophy

It’s All an Inside Job

How’s that for a sobering thought! It puts the power back in your hands… and the responsibility. Which means blame comes off the table. Yes, someone else may have set the stage, yet you decided to play their game. If you want something different, you need to do something different.

Be true to yourself.

It’s All an Inside Job… and Be True to Yourself

Okay, at first glance, you might think those are two different things. Yet they are closely intertwined. As you become more consciously aware of who you are and desire to be, you also realize that the only one who holds the key to your freedom and happiness is you.

Let’s start with “It’s All an Inside Job”…

I learned this the hard way, by giving away pieces of myself to others in order to feel loved and accepted. Putting my dreams on hold to support someone else’s dreams. You see, my childhood wound or need was to be loved and accepted.

As a psychic kid, I learned about rejection at an early age. Different did not fit in. Normal was too confining, but I desperately wanted to be loved and accepted. As a result, I made a lot of poor and questionable decisions around love (or what I thought love was) and came to a lot of incorrect conclusions about my value, self-worth, and lovability.

When one relationship fell apart, I hoped the next one would miraculously bring me the love and acceptance I desired. It didn’t. Sometimes it resulted in shame and serious financial issues. I began losing respect for myself and judged myself harshly. I believed if I was this, that, or the other thing, the relationship or job would have worked out. They would have loved me. Appreciated me. Accepted me. Wanted me.

My epiphany came when I understood that my outer world reflected my inner world, and until I could love and accept myself exactly as I was, I would not find the love, acceptance, and peace of mind that I sought.

I embraced my journey within, and over the years, I have learned to love and accept myself with all my quirky imperfections. And I can honestly say I do love and accept myself and my body as is. I’ve even become comfortable in my own skin. (In a healthy, not narcissistic way.)

I even like myself most of the time. That doesn’t mean I like all the choices I have made or continue to make. Yeah, decades later, it's still a work in progress.

By the way, we are all a work in progress. And the journey is back to who you really are.

And sometimes, our journey is about transforming our deepest wounds into our greatest strengths and gifts. When we heal the parts that we hide, we also help others heal.

Working with people over the decades has shown me this appears to be true for everyone.

The thing you are seeking outside of you is actually within you.

The things you like, love, or admire about others are actually within you.

The things that trigger you about others are something within that you judge, resist, or try to hide… or may not even be aware of.

The thing you want to change in others points to the something about you that believes that person or thing changing will bring you more happiness in some way. What choices and changes can you make instead that will actually accomplish that goal?

The way people treat you is the way you unconsciously believe you should be treated or deserve to be treated because of something you believed as a kid. Maybe you were made out to be wrong or broken in some way, or not good enough, or too much.

The good news is, it puts the power back in your hands… and the responsibility. If you want something different, you need to do something different. And the changes begin within.

You can start by asking questions, such as “Is this true?” or "Who did I get this idea from?" Every time a judgment pops into your beautiful head.

You might also try one of my favorite tools… gratitude and appreciation… for you!

If you are anything like me, you focus on all the things that are not quite right or you didn’t complete. Let’s switch that around now. Each evening or morning, state or write down 5 things about you that you appreciate, and take an honest look back on all you have done. I bet you have accomplished a lot!

We will never get it all done. And that’s OK. You’re OK.

No one should be afraid to be their true self. No one should have to feel unloved and unworthy. Every one of us is a child of the Divine.

Be True to Yourself…

One of my favorite quotes comes from the author Richard Bach:

“Your only obligation in any lifetime
is to be true to yourself.”

I strive to embody this in my life and encourage others to be as true to themselves as possible … especially creatives of every flavor. The world needs your contribution!

Being true to yourself is an inside job. It is always a work in progress, and some days you feel like you backslid and lose your momentum and mojo.

Other days, you surprise yourself with what you can do and be and feel. Stepping into the flow and going with it, wherever it leads.

Often, showing up for yourself, trusting yourself, and being willing to embrace your difference/uniqueness requires lots of practice and TLC.

Sometimes, it helps to have a trusted guide or friend who is familiar with navigating this journey and can remind you of who you are and why it is important for you to allow more of you to come out and play.

This is a journey I am intimately familiar with since it is the one I lived and continue learning about.

Be You, Do You…

When you were young, you may have made some decisions about yourself that weren’t true, but they were opinions held by others you loved (or feared).

You may have decided to tone it down and stop being so dramatic because people thought you were too much, too loud, too off-the-wall to fit in or be taken seriously. You might have even been punished for it.

You might have decided way back then that the things that were so special about you were somehow wrong. Or (shudder to think) that there was something wrong with you.

You tried so effing hard to fit in, be normal, be what others wanted… and lost the Real You in the process.

And deep inside, a part of you was screaming to break free. Itching to throw off that constricting costume of normal, stop people-pleasing, and find the True You again.

I invite you to remember who you are, and to have the courage to take your power back from all those misguided naysayers, who, in their own weird way, were trying to protect you and make sure you stayed safe in the “normal box.”

You’re different… and that’s not a bad thing!

Be YOU in all your perfect imperfections and create a more enjoyable and fulfilling life. Choose You (on a more frequent basis) and Be You (more and more each day).

"Your greatest contribution to helping other people live their destiny is for you to live your own."
~ Alan Cohen

As I mentioned earlier, this is all a work in progress. Baby steps are sustainable. Giant leaps are exciting and possible. Just manage your expectations.

Creatives must create. Their stories, art, songs, performances, ideas, and other creations must be released into the world where they can work their magic on others.

So, maybe it’s time to stop cramming your beautiful, multidimensional butt into that confining “normal box.” Unhook from whatever is holding you back. Bust free from whatever blocks you put in place. Unleash your creative expression… whatever that may be.

Start choosing you.

Show up for yourself, and have your own back.

There is only one of you in this ginormous Universe. The world needs you and your gifts!

Let your Freak Flag Fly!

Be You. Do You…

Things I know, learned, or discovered that still feel true to me:

It’s all an inside job… seek your truth within
Everything is happening For You… instead of To You
Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world Your thoughts, beliefs, patterns, habits, past programming (which usually originates with things you learned from your family, friends, school, and society), wounds, fears, limits, etc., create your reality, influence your relationships, your mindset, your actions, your reactions, your point-of-view, and your potential.
You have permission to do, be, and have what your soul desires. The trick is to believe it, allow it, receive it, and take action towards it every day.
You’ll never get it all done
It’s about the journey, not the destination
You’re here to have experiences… have fun, engage with and enjoy life, create, connect, and share your special “magic” with the world.